Life Ain’t Always Emm – Fair!

About four years ago, I was a part 2 student of Obafemi Awolowo University. A friend of mine (just a hi hi friend at the time) shared with me a project that God had laid on his heart and I agreed to be a partner as I believed in the vision. So against all odds – studio designs, models, scary BLD lectures and impromptu tests, fellowship meetings, weight loss (I looked like a scare crow at the time) and oversize project shirt we had to wear twice a week as part of our publicity; I did all that was required of me as a partner.

As the programme drew nearer, our posters got ready and we had to paste them. The plan was to paste them during the early hours of the morning say 12am so that students (they are all never asleep anyway) would wake up to our posters, you know, get their attention at its sharpest! We had a prayer meeting till about a few minutes to the hour, and then we were paired, given posters and allocated pasting areas. I was paired with a course mate and we were assigned to PG Hall as it was close to Archy studio, I think we had some drawings to return to that night. My course mate is a clown, a member of Gospo.com (a comedy drama group) so pasting posters with him was actually fun and we were through in about two hours.

Department of Archtecture

Now PG Hall has a very slopy terrain and it was designed to suit the topography, as such hostels have basement floors before the actual ground level. Aside that, over time, the ground due to erosion and all is rough, uneven and with a lot of depressions so much so that you can only wear your stilettos on the car park and walkways (those are the only smooth surfaces). As we were descending J block, gisting past kings and Queens (PG restaurant); there was a sudden change in ground level, like a step. It was dark and as my feet hit the ground, I hear ‘pprrruuu’ (a loud fart sound) then silence. It takes almost 10 seconds for me to realize that THAT SOUND JUST ESCAPED FROM MY ANUS! I recover from the shock and say a weak ‘sorry’, shouldn’t I be saying ‘excuse me’ instead?

NNOOOOO!!!!

Ah! God! My rep (reputation)! I have never wanted to disappear so bad, why won’t Jesus just come now? I wasn’t looking my best that semester but yours truly is still a babe anytime *wink*, which kind embararlzment (oops! embarrassment) be this now? There was no denying, pretending or forming kpa kpa (yoruba exclamation); you know how you can be in a public place and want to fart so bad you just release the gas, fuke (yoruba term) style – noiseless version, then bone like nothing happened. Well it was just the two of us and the noise was so loud, it shut us up leaving an awkward silence. My course mate handled it pretty well, just brushing it aside like nothing happened, thank God it wasn’t one of my ‘toasters’ (admirers)! I don’t remember going back to the studio that night; I was too embarrassed to walk with him any further so I just fled to my hostel.  Lord have mercy!

Shared a similar experience? crack me up please.

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