Recently on facebook, there has been a flood of pictures of guys carrying placards that read ‘men are not ATM’s’. I had a good laugh when I first saw it but it has become a steady recurrence and is gradually turning into a revolution of some sort. I have a colleague at the office who believes that all females (except me) are gold diggers! He is upset whenever he sees a young woman looking good or in nice car as he believes she has succeeded in draining another poor fellow.

Dual-currency cash machines in Jersey: as inte...

Wouldn't it nice to own one of these? Even better, a loaded one!

We often argue about this over lunch and I have tried to correct his mindset by letting him know that there are young women out there who are hard working and do not depend on a man as their source of livelihood. It didn’t help matters when another colleague was lamenting to us about a lady he met online who had come from Owerri, I think, to visit him. The night she arrived, he got her fries with chicken and a bottle of juice for dinner. The next morning he offered to get bread and some eggs for her to fry which they could have for breakfast but she declined and said she wanted shawarma for breakfast! By the way, who has shawarma for breakfast? Girls and forming sha, that one na tori for another day. Anyway, my colleague was livid! “Shawarma? It’s not her fault, it’s because I gave her chicken and chips last night. If to say I don buy eba or pounded yam for am yester night, she for don know level and for no get mouth ask me for shawarma. Rubbish!” Mehn, boys are not smiling o!

Given, some ladies are all about money but it’s just some, not all. Guys themselves like to spend money on women; it’s like a subtle rite of passage (lasting a lifetime) that affirms their manhood or manness. Personally, I feel the guys complaining and revolting are the ones who don’t have enough.

money flowers

If money grew on trees, flowers would look like this.

Have you seen my igbo brothers when hold well well? They are unrepentant ATM’s! At the slightest provocation –gbam! Ego! Money go show! And now you are concerned that some girls are leeches?

Some years ago, this used to be the conversation between me and my brother:

Me: Hello, I don’t have much credit. Please send me money, I’m broke.

Brother: Last born you don come again o, I don’t have money.

Me: Okay now, if you won’t send me money, I’ll collect from guys in school.

Brother: What did you say? Don’t try it o, I’ll send you money tomorrow.

Recently, the conversation changed…

Me: Hello, I don’t have credit (I never have seem to have credit), please raise me.

Brother: Ehn? Abeg, go and get a boyfriend. I don’t have money!

Translation: Boyfriend = Money

Now, before my dear brother had a woman, he used to spoil me silly. Two valentines ago, he got me a gold Anne Klein clasp wristwatch that cost five digits. Last valentine, my brother now engaged, promised to get me a blackberry. Valentine came, I got nothing, and fiancée got a deep pink blackberry torch. I’m not mad that he got fiancée a gift; I got a gift from bobo as well. I only realized that dear brother had a choice – me, fiancée, both or none, he picked fiancée. Would I now say she has turned my brother into an ATM? No! An ATM is a machine that is programmed to give out money, my brother is a MAN that has a brain capable of thinking and deciding whom to give, when to give and how much money will be given. Carrying placards that screams ‘Help! I can’t get out’ is cowardice because you can. Just say “NO”, “I don’t have”, “This is what I can afford”. Even an ATM tells you “TEMPORARILY UNABLE TO DISPENSE CASH” when it has no money in it.

Ladies, we sef no dey try! Before you landed that big catch you were content with fixing N650 darling yaki, now you want to fix N300k brazillian hair at all cost? Haba! The most annoying part is how most of us never get to do anything worthwhile with the money – hair, shoes, bags, clothes, make up, jewelleries, perfumes, trips abroad, at most car or an apartment.

A scattering of "brilliant" cut diam...

Girl's bestfriend!

Even if the man has money to throw in the air, must you now become a vampire? What is wrong in helping or rather teaching a man to save for the rainy day? A woman is a man’s helper. People rarely ask for help to pull down or destroy themselves, that’s foolishness. People ask for help when something is bigger than them like building up. You are in a man’s life to help him so help that man no matter how tempting it is to just chop him finish. And nobody say make you no chop because na our calling sef to chop but chop in a manner that lets you savour the taste of your man’s labour and appreciate him for providing. Bottom line is chop and feed him as well!

As for the guys who are tired of dispensing, need I remind you that an ATM is for the public? If you really want change, stop being public property and find a woman who will turn you into a fixed deposit with benefits of privacy and exclusivity. As for me, I got me some treasury bills!



  1. Very true! Guys got the choice of saying NO. But this reminds me of the discussion with a female friend who was complaining about her boyfriend. When I told her she has the option of walking away from a bad relationship since the guy isn’t tying her down, she replied that it isn’t that simple. Maybe it’s not that simple for many guys to say NO to giving girls money too. Nice piece!


  2. Hi Feyisayo, indeed it’s not that simple especially when you begin to consider your ego or what people would say but the truth is no one can stand up for you except YOU. Until we learn to say NO or walk away from that relationship, the world is fine with taking from us and giving nothing in return. Thanks for stopping by dear!


  3. Wedei says:

    Humility is hard to find in ladies these days. Sometimes when they are found, the guys who should exalt them, abuse that humility. But happiness resides in those who are bold enough to stand for their worth. Lovely piece


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