MISSION POSSIBLE!

It’s quite a happy month! I like!

Hello everyone, happy second half of the year and 4th of July to my American people! It has been quite a season for me, very quiet, turbulent and somewhat lonely but I have a great feeling it would soon be over :). Anyway, on the last day of June, a friend said she was embarking on a 30 day challenge in the month of July and asked people to join if they were interested. The challenge? 30 days of in her words, no meat and its siblings (chicken and turkey); so you eat normally but the animal on top must be fish, sea food or egg and you get to drink only water, loads of it (no beverage, soda, juice except fresh fruits). So I thought to myself, why not!

Water – detoxifying since the garden of Eden!

It has been four days well three as day one was a rehearsal and it has been one of the most amazing experiences I have ever had. First, I never knew drinking water was so difficult! I can comfortably have two meals without drinking water. Second, I used to pee once a day and credit it to efficient bladder (I could hold my pee for hours); however, since the challenge, I pee more frequently than a pregnant woman in her last trimester and I’m not joking! Third, I’m beginning to enjoy drinking water :), I now drink an average of five 75cl bottles daily. Fourth, we created a BBM group and in four days I have met the most amazing of God’s children! Absolutely wonderful and passionate people, I think some of the friendships I have made on the group will be lifelong. Fifth, I have to fall in love with fish and I especially like this one, lol! Sixth, my tummy is flatter; it will be as flat as an ironing board by the end of July! Yay!!!!

Lastly, I am in this challenge in spite of. I am in the midst of a 21st century immaculate conception kind of experience in more than one area of my life. No, I’m not Mary, Jesus has already come and there’s only one Jesus; I’m not pregnant either, I’m just in situations where God is my only option, no plan B – so it’s God you have to save me or you have to save me. I’m fighting battles but I’m confident the war is won so I just ride on God’s grace knowing it really isn’t by my strength and works, it never has been. I choose not to worry, isn’t that what trust is about? Trust is letting go COMPLETELY and it is difficult for our human mind to comprehend. It is choosing to allow another will even though yours is intact. It is relinquishing power no matter the consequence.

Can you?

A dark tunnel is never an excuse to stop in your journey else you would never see the proverbial light at the end. Your journey is like a movie, so many characters but you are the lead, it’s your story so make sure it’s great! Don’t be so focused on your pain, that you miss the opportunity to be someone else’s gain. Know that life is not a hierarchy, it is a circle of relationships meaning we are all connected and need one another. Keep your circle intact; keep moving, some people will only rise because you made it so make it and I don’t mean just financially but in your journey as a parent, writer, teacher, dancer, CEO, scientist, politician, pastor, whatever God has called you to be. To make it you must TRUST God. I’m in this challenge because I trust God.

My father and I

This one is for Laiza, Ursula, Ukay, Boomie, Ugo, Miriam, Seun, Presh, Nedu, Jephthah, Kemi, Sheila, Becca and Anwuli – the challengers. Here’s to friendship! Thirty years of it perhaps?

With sardine bread and sea food okro soup!

p.s you can join the challenge too and if you have / are doing something similar, please share!

Advertisement

A MADE UP NIGERIA!

I recently heard that there’s nothing as powerful as a made up mind; I think this is where Nigeria is. Our election is underway and with the drama of card readers which apparently is not a respecter of persons (ask President Jona), propaganda from every corner, worrisome silence from the South East and South West regions (no ‘rumour’ of results from polling units over 24 hours after elections were conducted), result overload from Twitter and Facebook (even my sister in Canada sent me election results), an MOU between INEC and NURTW (amazing right?), ati bee bee lo….one thing is constant –Nigerians have been PEACEFUL and UNITED!

It hasn’t always been like this, maybe never. It was slavery for God knows how long and even after Independence, we remained slaves to greed, ignorance, tribalism, ethnic and religious sentiments, corruption, injustice, wickedness. It doesn’t take much to make another a slave; you don’t need guns or money, just make their mind believe something other than the truth and that is what our ‘masters’ did to us. My God, we have believed a lot of things! Watching the INEC chair (and I beg to digress) address journalists a few hours ago on the elections, a Nigerian journalist with all the pressing issues, asked “Sir, what do you think the global impression of Nigeria will be as a result of this elections?” I could not believe it! Global impression?  It’s like when you have been told the solution to an ancestral curse and you are still concerned about ‘what people will say’; even Jega hardly acknowledged his global impression question. Sadly, that is what my brother still believes. Back to our gist; THAT slavery has ended because somehow, someone found the truth that we are not meant to be slaves and it is spreading like wild fire! There’s an awakening in the land and people are taking their position, getting battle ready! In my polling unit for instance, a Hausa community in Lagos; it started to rain during voting and INEC officials were forced to stop the process at some point because the ballot papers were getting wet and there was a high risk of tear and ink smearing. The community had provided a mat as a makeshift canopy against the harsh rays of the sun but water was dripping all over when it started to rain. The electorate would have none of that, they wanted to vote! Less than 20 feet from the polling unit stood a brand new market,locked up, awaiting commissioning. In the blink of an eye, the lock was broken and INEC officials and materials were safely moved to the brand new polling unit where voting and the rain continued till late evening. There were legitimate reasons to mar the process that day but Nigeria fought and Nigeria won!

No one knows what INEC will announce on Monday night but regardless of the outcome, CHANGE (not the party) is here! It is not business as usual, Nigeria is deciding her destiny this time. Not with violence but with her strength of mind, moral resolve, character. A new army is rising, one that will fight for justice and speak the truth. Whoever the winners are, genuine or imposed, we will demand accountability, we will push you for results and by all means vote you out if you do not deliver on your mandate. The dead days are OVER; this country is alive with blood flowing in her veins, yes! Blood that is deeply red and of course green! And as for global impression, the world will take note soon enough! God bless Nigeria!

MY LIFE OR YOURS?

All hail the champions – Cote D’Ivoire!

It’s the AFCON 2015 final, my sister and I tune in to watch the penalty shoot-out; defending champions, Nigeria, failed to qualify for the competition so the tournament really was of no interest to me (patriotic to Nigeria and not Africa ba?). Anyway, Cote d’Ivoire are the new champions of Africa and Andre Ayew of Ghana was inconsolable. It was really sad and while my sister and I discussed Ayew’s touching breakdown, I remember my phone (I had been tweeting about the penalty shootout earlier and got caught up with Ayew who remains handsome even in grief, chai!), I’m absently scrolling down my BBM contacts when I see TJ’s picture up on a dear friend’s dp. Yeh! It’s Tunji’s birthday I think but as I check my friend’s status to confirm, I see “sleep well brother”.

I’m in pain. I can’t explain it but it hurts, really hurts. I have known Tunji for almost eighteen years, we weren’t close but he kept in touch. He left for America after secondary school and was in touch via Facebook. I am capable of being lost in my world, being with people for long periods without getting to know them and moving on when it is time to move on. I say that I am minding my business but am I really? I am asking myself questions and I am worried that in a bid to respect people’s privacy, not be nosy, not to pry, am I crossing the line to becoming blind to others?

Tunji’s Ankara Shoot

In almost eighteen years of knowing Tunji, I honestly cannot recall a moment we hung out or had a conversation that stayed with me but when I learnt of his passing, I just broke down crying. Tunji wasn’t someone I’d categorize as a FRIEND, he was just a secondary school mate but he left an impression, he was involved in our lives in his little way. The yearly birthday messages, the comments on your picture or occasion in your life, his constant smile. I remember the first time I took note of him on Facebook; he had posted some pictures of his sister and her family. They radiated so much love and peace and all had dreadlocks – husband, wife, and a cute little baby boy! They seemed very arty, like Bob Marley meets Chimamanda Adichie kinda thing. I remember saying to myself “I’d like a family just like that”, plus I have always wanted to grow my son’s hair, still do. Then Tunji started to grow dreadlocks and I was charmed because it was so unlike his gentle demeanour and personality, I like weird : ). Just before we recovered from the gentle dread-locked TJ, he became a photographer and metamorphosed into one really cool creative individual.

Tunji was in Nigeria January last year, He’d sent me a message on Facebook asking if I could be one of his models for an Ankara shoot and sent his number. I didn’t see the message till days later; I responded apologising and sent him my number, asking him to reach me if ever there was a future shoot. Tunji called me immediately and we chatted about his trip, the shoot and other small talk – it was the last time I spoke with him. My school mate is gone, he had sickle cell and I never knew until after his death. Tunji understood what I am now realizing; that life involves not a lot of time but a lot of relationships. I am ashamed at how selfish I have been and commit to doing better in my relationships not this year, but every day. I will work at this resolution daily; irrespective of how I feel or what I am going through. Thank you Tunji for living fearlessly, for giving lavishly, for loving deeply; you have given me the courage to do same. God comforts and strengthens your family at this very difficult time.

In loving memory of Tunji Fadeyibi

 

WATCHMEN

Phone rings

Hello

Hello Ma, this is the reception. I’m calling to inform you that we want to move you to the main building. Also, we won’t turn on the generator until 6pm and we will turn it off at 10pm.

Pardon?

I think it’s better I come to your room

That would be great, thank you.

Click

I am on leave; my first in four years and I decided to spend my two weeks by myself – just me, myself and I! I’m not weird, neither am I lonely, I had just missed spending time with ME and the one who made ME. Truth is I’m not really great at being vulnerable and one of the times I’m most vulnerable is when I don’t know what to do. I was at a point when I had no clue what to do about my whole life.

My fantasy and next stop, can’t wait!

Now relax, I wasn’t suicidal, I was just helpless as to the next step to take. I was very distracted, going through the motions with a lot on my plate (most of which I had no idea how they landed there); my head was so full; any attempt to think brought bad headaches. There was only one thing left to do – RETREAT!
I wanted to visit another country but I couldn’t afford a proper vacation – my finances was in a pretty bad shape. What I could afford however was a resort in South West Nigeria (my accommodation – the hotel annex, and two meals per day – yes, it was that bad) so I packed my bag and off I went!

I must swim with dolphins o, YOLO!

I have been here four nights and I’m sad because I see how beauty has deteriorated. The pictures I saw online is a fantasy of my reality here. The gym is not functioning, one look at the pool and I said to myself “jump in and come out with instant craw craw (that’s rash/hives I think), that is ehn a total reverse of Namaan’s story kwa! “, the Wi-Fi nko? You see I had planned to shut myself from the world; you know, just me and my God. I even sent out messages letting people know I’d only be available by e-mail; suffice it to say I had to turn on my phone at intervals to access e-mails. The heater wasn’t working, I was handed an electric kettle on arrival which I totally love by the way *big grin*; the water was coloured (I wished I brought some alum by some stroke of fore knowledge), and eighty per cent of the menu did not exist. The only thing functioning properly is the golf course and I’m not a golfer. I really didn’t mind the state of the resort, the reason I came was for solitude and that was top notch!

When my sister called to find out how I was doing, how the place was; I looked around and told her “I wish I came here a decade ago, this is another Nigerian story – poor maintenance.” This place would have been a beauty ten years ago. It’s like seeing a beautiful woman who circumstances has aged prematurely, you see glimpses of what she was and what she could have been and it just hurts. I’m pained at what Nigeria has become and as much as it is convenient to blame the older generation for our woes, we are all responsible because Nigeria is not a noun (a name, a place, an inanimate object, dead); it is a verb (you and I, living Spirits, ability, potential). It’s like letting someone pick a spouse for you and when things go horribly wrong, you can blame the person all your life but the person you are most upset with is yourself – for doing nothing, for letting someone else take control of your life. Nigeria is ours and is us. Let’s not be mediocre about it, lose the ‘it’s none of my business’ attitude.

You, Me, Nigeria

Stop throwing thrash on the roads, drainage, that’s what causes the floods! Yesterday was World Malaria Day and Nigeria is one of only two countries to still have malaria. Stagnant water breeds mosquitoes which in turn causes malaria and kills people! Yes, that is the ripple effect of throwing your pure water sachet in the gutter. If you can’t understand how the youths have their priorities scattered all over the place, mentor them, mentor one! Give a day a week, even if on social media like Leke Alder (you should follow him on twitter by the way @Leke_Alder he tweets specially to the youths on Saturdays). Don’t think it is enough that your children are well mannered and school abroad; life is a leveller and your little girl might just bring home the ‘riff raff’ as her fiancé. Yes, the government is the major culprit in the country’s poverty level but if you can, get a child off the street, sponsor their education. Let’s cultivate the habit of correcting and fixing things immediately there’s a problem, let’s not wait until the problem is beyond repair. Because then we are helpless, vulnerable and vulnerable people often times can’t make a sound decision.

Our girls in Borno are still missing almost two weeks now; we are headed towards helpless and vulnerable. Watch my back and let me watch yours. Let us be able to say to each other “I got you” with our lives tied to every alphabet! That is a glimpse of the Nigeria we can be. Lord, have mercy on us; preserve the kidnapped school girls and please return them safely to their families. Sigh, no internet here – this will be uploaded whenever I return to civilization. God bless Nigeria.

When we look out for our neighbour, we look out for ourself.

DO YOU MIND?

To strength in waiting…

This is one question that took me a while to accept the meaning of either of its responses. I mean someone asks:

‘Do you mind a sandwich?’ (Meaning – do you want a sandwich?). Your answer is YES, so you say:

‘I don’t mind’ (meaning – I want a sandwich). Someone else asks:

‘Do you mind pepper soup?’ (Meaning – do you want pepper soup?). Like me who likes good food, you are about to say yes when you remember you started to stool that morning and respectfully decline by saying a polite NO, which translates as:

‘I mind’ (meaning – I don’t want pepper soup though you curse under your breath wondering what luck you have to have chosen that morning to lose control of your bowels).

Anyway, it never did make any sense to me – why I have to say NO when I mean YES, and vice versa. Well na so oyibo want am and I learnt the hard way. Imagine this scenario:

 

I’m screaming on my inside “NOOOOOO, come back hereeee”, as the waiter walks away.

At a party with some friends…

Waiter: Do you mind Chapman? (Which is the only non-alcoholic drink, I do not take alcohol and I am very thirsty)

Me: yes please

So, waiter turns around and walks away while I almost die of thirst as shame won’t let me admit I made a mistake in spoken English!

What foolishness you say? Yes, I know, that was over a decade ago; I am wiser now, not as wise as Solomon but wise enough to say with a smile ‘excuse me, I changed my mind, I’ll have the Chapman’. Back then, the way I thought was ‘I’d rather die of thirst than be humiliated for 2minutes’ – my reputation (my nickname was professor as I read the dictionary like it was a novel) was more important than my health, with all the words I learnt, I guess I never came across the word dehydration!

Now, this is not a note on grammar rather it’s one on the ‘confused’ state of believers; how we say YES but actually mean No and vice versa.

Let’s take Abraham and Sarah for example Gen 17:15-19 & Gen 18:9-15, today they would be one of the world’s ‘sexiest’ couples! They were beautiful, rich, powerful, influential but childless. As believers, they waited on the Lord from their 20’s right up to when Abraham was 85! Then Sarah said, ‘enough is enough! Every fertility treatment has failed; even God has sealed my fate. I am 75 now and way past menopause. Take my maid Hagar, she has been with us since she was a girl and is part of the family; lay with her and have a son to inherit all that is ours’. Months after, Ishmael was born. Thirteen years later, Abraham has forgotten all about God’s covenant with him and Sarah is definitely not praying for a child at 89 but God shows up all the same to fulfill His covenant and promise. Guess what? Abraham and Sarah are not excited, instead, they laughed! Isn’t that ridicule? Over the years of waiting they have ‘adjusted’ their faith and embraced their circumstance, actually, believed it was God’s will and promise. God was merciful and fulfilled His word Gen 21:1-7.

How about Gideon Judges 6:11-7:18? The Israelites had been praying for deliverance yet when God sent deliverance, Gideon chickened. In the years of waiting, they had accepted oppression as normal so much so that Gideon was beating wheat in a winepress. God was merciful and still delivered Israel even though He had to convince Gideon over and over again.

Even the Shunammite woman, as sensitive as she was in meeting the needs of a prophet 2nd Kings 4:8-17, she too had conformed to her circumstance and could not understand nor accept her blessing.

Zechariah Luke 1:5-24 unlike others was not so fortunate, I guess at this time heaven was exasperated at our ‘unbelief’ and mind imprisonment or maybe it was because Zechariah was a serving priest of God and Angel Gabriel expected more belief from him. Whatever the reason, Zechariah was punished for his unbelief though his prayer was still answered – God is still merciful.

Nahhhh, this is not your story; God is always on time – relax!

True, waiting is hard especially when there are no signs of the expected as you wait. It’s easy for us to judge the saints of old and preach a sermon on their unbelief but are we any different? Our generation is referred to as the microwave generation meaning patience is not one of our virtues.  Like Abraham and Sarah, haven’t we all helped God with answers to our prayers when it seems like He is too slow? And when we do decide wait, the reality is that we do not wait at all because when God comes along He does not find us in position, we have drifted with the tides of our problems. Just as it is when one stands at the bank of a beach, the waves come and wash up your feet on the sand. As they recede back to the ocean, we glide along with the sand and unassumingly, unknowingly, slowly but surely, we are knee deep in the ocean and are soon carried away if we do not realize on time to run or cry out!

It is not like some of us do not wait but we drift because we are idle while waiting. In reality, when we do nothing in waiting, we are only waiting for the waves to come pick us up from the shore. Waiting is a process and like most processes, is an essential ingredient for the product without which the product cannot be formed. It is not like God desires to withhold our desires; it is just that to become the product, we require essential ingredients in the process of waiting. So in waiting, do not be idle. Learning is a requirement so learn all you can in the period of waiting and if you learn nothing at all, learn patience. While you wait, form a character. Be like Hannah 1st Sam 1:1-20, she didn’t focus on her problems (her barrenness or her rival – Peninnah, some of us would have beat Peninnah silly!) instead she focused on the solution – God, and she was ready when He was. As difficult as it may seem, see yourself in your desire and rejoice! Meditate on God’s word, remind yourself of His promises, move with the right association, keep yourself in perspective!

God is tired of not finding us in position, He’s broken when we are bewildered that He blesses and delivers us. So as we pray for God to deliver Nigeria, God is asking ‘do you mind being Nigeria’s deliverance?’ Eight years after graduation, a bus driver barely surviving; God is asking ‘do you mind being a billionaire?’ Childless and vexed; God is asking ‘do you mind being a first mother?’ Successful and distressed; God is asking ‘do you mind having peace?’ Young, beautiful and confused; God is asking ‘do you mind wisdom?’

At the beginning of 2014, you rejoiced at a new year, a fresh start, new opportunities! You made your heart believe and expect again; now almost three months gone you struggle to hold on to the threads of your expectations –  hold on! Whatever your prayers and desires, God is asking ‘do you mind answers?’, ‘will I find you in position?’

Like a soldier; always in position, battle ready, eye on the prize!

BENEATH I’M BEAUTIFUL

Beneath I’m beautiful is a child badly scarred. Try as she may, the stains won’t leave no matter how hard she scrubs. The little she has left she protects with all her strength and will. The world is intimidated and judged by her purity; not her intention, she is just living her purpose – being good, but by whose certification? One simple test threw the cold truth in her face – she is not perfect, all she strived for crumbled in a moment of realization. Can she recover; is this the beginning of her journey to healing?

Beneath I’m beautiful is a woman who cared and was hurt every time. Barely twenty and with a child in a strange land, it didn’t take long to grow a thick skin. She managed to care for herself and even convinced everyone that she needed nothing. She is in control of her life and all who are a part of it. She built a wall so tall no one could climb it; sadly she’s trapped in too. She wants out but she’s too proud to ask for help and no one dares to reach out. So she suffers along with those she’s kept with her but they plan to escape and keep her locked in!

Beneath I’m beautiful is one who broke free from the bondage of poverty but remained caged in his mind. No amount of money is enough because to him wealth is acquiring and not creating. He is a giver but only to impress people and brag about it. He is intimidated by people rich in their minds and is constantly spending to reassure himself that he is isn’t poor forgetting that as a man thinketh so he is. The fear of being perceived as poor fuels his passion to acquire more and also live a meaningless life – vanity upon vanity!

Beneath I’m beautiful is a man who does not believe he is good enough. The next achievement is supposed to bring that satisfaction and sense of fulfillment but alas, he is overwhelmed with the feeling of inadequacy so the quest starts all over again. Dad and Mum have raised the bar so high and as firstborn, he must scale it! Lay a perfect example for those after him. An unending cycle that leaves his heart shattered from too many false disappointments. He is his virus and his antidote but all that’s on his mind is the next feat.

Beneath I’m beautiful is a boy who loved once and was heartbroken. How could daddy die without a warning? Hence, he has learnt to trust no one; love from a distance, never give your heart. He has carried on for so long, he can’t stop even if he tried – this is what he believes. Now that he is a daddy, he knows that daddy didn’t betray him but loved him till death. It’s time to make right his wrong for himself, honey and baby. Love in such a manner that if he didn’t get a chance to say good bye, his memory would keep them not kill them.

Have you found you? Can i find you?

Beneath I’m beautiful is me without covering. No degree, no family, no bank account, no career, no success, no Jesus, just plain me. Beneath I’m beautiful is me taking it all off and letting you see inside. It’s me accepting I got it all wrong and letting go of my philosophies. Beneath I’m beautiful I’m not perfect but I’m a work in progress. My land was ready in stripping all my layers till I found me, plain me. My foundation is Jesus; now I’m laying my blocks and building my tower. Beneath I’m beautiful, I AM BEAUTIFUL.

Can I see beneath you are beautiful?